All my friends with strong political opinions, who have visited and commented on my blog regularly, will be disappointed by this one. NOTHING POLITICAL ABOUT THIS ONE. In spite of the emphatic victory of the UPA in the general elections, I choose to write on something personal.
Last fortnight has been rather a strange one for me. I have felt everything…..joy, sadness, nostalgia, boredom etc…and I can quite honestly say that the last 15 days have taught me a lot of lessons…
LESSON 1-A MYTH BROKEN-night of May 9, 2009.
As rest of the VITians, my college life also ended recently. I was very busy with my review and thesis work for the last few weeks. Thanks to my inability to plan my experiments, I was working till Tuesday (May 12) when my review was scheduled on Saturday (May 16). In the meantime, some friends started to leave.
It was May 9, 2009. 2 of our very close friends were leaving in late night. We were a group of 7 from the first day of our college. As the years went by, we all had our shares of fights and fall outs. But still there was a certain sense of bonding that kept us together. Aditya Patel and Arpit Mittal were an integral part of that group and they chose the same day to leave leaving our group with a double void. It was all going great, quite manly, some would say. No tears..no sentiaps… just remembering the good old days , TASMAC, Pondicherry, crushes, Girls, Booze etc... Filling out customary diaries and signing the T-shirts… nothing overwhelming.
You know boys don't cry. The only occasions when boys cry is their sister's wedding (not considering some unfortunate tragedies, of course), that too in the end, hiding and wiping off the tears as fast as possible. We try to be as much macho as we can. I don't know what lead to this practice but crying man (or boys) are not considered manly enough. However, that night was an exception.
It was all good till we were in hostel. Then we started to move out. Arpit felt a little lump in his throat, which I noticed, but thanks to our loud group, it went almost unnoticed. As we started walking we came quieter. There were very few words exchanged..still no tears..men don't cry…
The taxi arrived and we started to arrange the luggage…a strange silence surrounded us…then something happened…arpit hugged Chandan, the two have been the worst companions ever…fighting like animals…back bitching and all that…they had a big bad fight everyday..even on the last day, and Chandan started crying..it was sudden, as if he was unplugged, as if all his emotions were held back by a dam and suddenly someone opened the gates…arpit started soon after…I was still tearless. Quite honestly I was amazed and didn't know how to react. I looked up to Naveen. He is a huge guy and not at all famous for his emotions. He was off, totally. He couldn't hold back and joined a group hug. That's when I realized I had tears too. Honestly, I was crying after 4 years….the last time I cried was my sister's wedding!!!!!! (no guesses there I think!). Strangely, it felt good. Boys don't cry..OK!!! but boys can cry…that's when I realized how much all these , and probably me, were holding back. All that time in hostel , while doing all the customary stuff, we were holding our tears back…just a failed attempt to be , you know…manly!!!!
Some more people left. My best friend Rohit Kalla left on 15, Naveen left on 16 and there were many more. But there was no more crying business. However, I decided not to hold back any more. There were many like me who didn't realize this aspect of their personality in years! College life does teach you strange things, ain't it?
Lesson learnt-don't hold back…show it off…don't overdo it..but definitely don't hide it…IT IS OK…ITS HUMAN NATURE….
LESSON 2-A TRUTH REALIZED-night of May 17, 2009.
It was my second last night in VIT. I was busy like hell. Review was over and screwed. Who cares? We were GRADUATES!!
I went to Udayan's room for some work after dinner. That's one thing we enjoyed in last few days…the free movement in hostels. We were all nostalgic after Rohit and Naveen left. And when 2 emotional fools are in company, it magnifies. We started talking of the past and soon we both became quite vulnerable and called up our mentor-Rishi Bhaiya. Rishi bhai is our senior and a very good friend. I call him our mentor because he introduced us to a club so dear to both of us, taught us a lot of things (many of which can't be revealed!! J) and always behaved like a big brother. We called him and told how tough this time is for us. He was cool as ever. Told us some routine stuff and cheered us. Most importantly he made us realize that not only we would be over this phase, but we ll also learn to be apart from each other. And then, if God is kind to us, we get a chance to catch up again, we can relive the old magic. May be this separation from people we have been with 24x7 for the past 4 years, is necessary for our growth as individuals. Next time we meet we would have a lot to share, some experience and hopefully some equally great work stories! Being apart would mean living more independently and may be in a better way.
There was nothing new he told us. It's the same stuff what mothers told you when you didn't want to come back from grandma's house after summer vacation! But it was the timing or the way he told us that it struck the right chord. Me and Udayan just looked at each other, shook hands and I left. On my way back to my hostel, I was thinking about MS in USA, Stony Brook vs Rutgers, Gati courier etc…nothing of the past…every trivial thing of the future…THE RISHI MAGIC WORKED…
Next day, 3 more friends, who have been such an integral part for my college life, Richoo, Pankaj and Ramya, left. The tears were back for a while but the words of Rishi bhaiya rung in my ears…
Lesson learnt-there will be a tomorrow and it would be bigger, better, brighter and full of joy..WE WILL MEET AGAIN!
LESSON 3-AN ERA ENDED- May 19, 2009
All said and done, we were still leaving the place we loved to hate for four years.
Everyone was gone except Udayan, Padhee (no first name required!!), Akshat ,Ram,Shashank and Kamlesh. I was leaving at 12.45 pm. Udayan and Padhee came to my room in morning itself, as every second we spent together was a treasured one now. We had waited for each other a lot of times…in mess, outside H block, at the "juice" shop…10-15 minutes never seemed so important. Had we known that we would die for even a minute together now, we would have been careful before! Anyways there was a lot of nostalgia, a lot of topics never discussed before, a lot of stories and, of course, a lot of photos clicked. We even clicked a photo of the empty corridor, so as to remember these last few crazy days as well!
There were a lot of people leaving that day…so a lot of common friends. Hence, a lot of goodbyes and hugs. As I was about to board the train, Padhee broke lose. This time it was my turn to open the barrage gates…the gates I preferred to remain closed…the gates I never wanted to open..a side I never wanted to unleash…but couldn't resist an ever smiling Padhee crying. We hugged and cried for long…Naveen (yes he came back..good story!) and Udayan joined us…there is no better feeling to be seen off by our best friends at the station…it makes you feel that there are people who care, there are people who miss you and there are people who want to see you again. The train moved and VIT was left behind..a place we loved to hate….
Lesson learnt-
There is no better feeling to be seen off by our best friends at the station…it makes you feel that there are people who care, there are people who miss you and there are people who want to see you again.
LESSON 4-TURN THE PAGE- May 25, 2009
Boredom is one word that describes my stay at home. I was not doing anything…not even blogging.
Today, I decided to go out. After 3 days of absolute boredom and joblessness at home, I decided to catch up with old school friends. We went out, enjoyed and had a great time. There was no guilty of not missing a Rohit or a Udayan or a Padhee…there was a Gaurav, a Aditya and a Sethi…
Prateek Mathur was back!
Lesson learnt-the fun would remain the same, same old jokes, same old PJs, same old everything….characters would change..yesterday was an Udayan…today is an Aditya and there will be someone tomorrow as well..!!!
Looking ahead doesn't mean forgetting the past…05BBT215 would always be treasured…!!
9 comments:
What I loved most in your post was the last line..
"Looking ahead doesn't mean forgetting the past…05BBT215 would always be treasured…!!"
Last two lessons were touching. I could feel the same when you said "There is no better feeling to be seen off by our best friends at the station…it makes you feel that there are people who care, there are people who miss you and there are people who want to see you again."
I could actually go back to Jan 5th,2008 when I moved out for the first time for Delhi to join internship , I could see those faces who were there on the platform with me waiting for Kerala Express which comes at 3 in morning.
I am thankfull to god that I have you guys.
Even if far far away , we are together in one way or the other becase after some years when we would be just names engraved in each other's hearts everytime we would sit down with a drink in our hands and think of good moments in life those name will come to life and make us smile in the same way as they do now.
Cheers my friend.
Miss you guys...
amen bhaiya!
I agree with you to an extent,you seemed to have a great time these four years, while I was quite detached from most of our peers( except our inner circle of friends). But I guess I'm not an emotional person, but not barring the fact that i do have emotions. I have retained my Id card, I smirked to myself when I saw the number 236 on by the bangalore roadside, I cannot forget the shorty jokes we made about parul, or richoo's moustache(less) syndrome or Ram's "simply stunning". We all reminisce in our private ways. You can get emotional and shed a few(or flood) tears while I tend to remain aloof and stoic about the whole thing. We're both humans, yet we grieve and reminisce in different ways. That's my two cents. Hope that last post of mine hasn't alienated you. Just my take on the situation.
@nikhil
may be ur right...may its two sides of a coin...may be ur way is the silent way of expressing the same wat i do loudly..;-)..
i never had it in my mind that u are emotionless dude...u only stated it in ur posts etc..anyway all air is cleared now...good for us.. :-D
yaar prateek !!! do u know what you have written. your blog name myth is one of the best blog i have read. not because my name is there inside it because this blog is not talking about idealism! its showing your true feeling and believe me as i was there with you that night i can say its well written and truly written. you are right its end of an era, but lets hope this saga of our love hatred stupidity and fun is always with us, till the end of our life.really missing you all guys- naveen
yaar it's fabulous and heart touching experience which u've shared..really liked it dude..
i second rishi bhiyas notion it is extremely important to know this i being the part of ur group will always cherish the fact that i had great friends but cant looking in the future............nice thought all in all a great work
no words.. every one went through the same... the last days of coll..don knw if we got to be happy cos we r graduates or to be sad cos we r never goin to be together in our life again..
sala jab padta hu ye...pata nahi kyo sab kuch saamne aa jata hain.....ruona ur aata hain....nahi padhna hain saale tera ye blog!!!
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